Why dating is an exhausting ritual, especially for the single mother.

I never really dated before. Even the concept of a date seems weird to me because I am from a generation where most relationships stem from a series of “hanging out.” When I was in high school, I was fat. I wasn’t the “fat girl”, I just happened to be overweight and had much more interest in becoming a screenwriter than becoming someone’s girlfriend. There were the occasional guys that passed by my radar with a little more glimmer than others, but they’re mostly gay now. A cute 16-year-old boy whose favorite movie is Charlie Chaplin’s “Gold Rush”? yeah, he’s into dudes. Needless to say, I was simply a horny film nerd who was able to delay my need for a boyfriend until I found one in film school. Perhaps, I was hoping that would also be where I did my girl-on-girl experimentation too.

But life has a funny way of working in a much different manner than I had anticipated. I ended up not going to film school, which caused me to meet my ex when I was 19. So since the age of 19, I have been with the same person. Sure, there were some gaps in-between that allowed me to have a little extracurricular exploration, but for the most part, that was it. Well, now at the age of 26, I am back to the drawing board.

It’s been 7 years, 1 marriage and 2 kids later but I was rip-roaring-ready to move on. I can’t stress how much I am over my ex. I was pretty much edging away from him a few weeks into the marriage. It was one of those situations where there were plenty of good times at the beginning that justified the bad times. The problem became that these issues just became increasingly difficult to stand for.  It also seemed like an obvious red flag when I would meet someone I was attracted to, and my immediate thought was “Damn it! why do I have to be married?” I’m sure that is normal, but within a year of being married? probably not so much. I’m proud to say that I never cheated on my husband though. No pumpkin eaters here.

Anyway, recently I went out on a few dates with someone. He has many attributes that should make him perfect. Unfortunately, that would make things easy. I am not a girl who likes things to be easy. I have to say, that I am at total fault when it comes to this sort of stuff. I am sure I will continue to date perfectly nice guys but somehow mess with their minds in an attempt to relieve my own boredom. There is also another factor that often looms; the time it takes to actually go out on dates. I should probably be at home with my kids, not at an overpriced steak house with some guy that bores me. Sometimes I even question whether I should even worry about such things, then I think about how my mother didn’t date anyone after she was divorced. Depressing.

Perhaps, my patience has worn too thin for the male population. Don’t get me wrong, I think dudes are great, but I think I have become quite picky in my old age. I don’t want another stinker. It’s like when you drive an old beater as a teenager and you never seem to want to get rid of it. It’s familiar. It’s not so bad. It doesn’t break down EVERY time you drive it. Who wants to go car shopping? But I haven’t quite reached the age where I am going to settle for, simply, reliable. I would still rather have a 1970s Challenger that might break down, but is a blast to drive. My dating days are far from behind me, and it is going to be a good time as long as I simply enjoy the ride and not mind if I find myself a few more lemons.

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